Wedding engagements often spark discussions about venues, budgets and merging households, but rarely the financial structures that can strengthen a marriage. For financial advisors, the months leading up to a wedding are a crucial time to guide engaged couples through discussions that, while challenging, can affect their long-term stability. From buying property to prenup agreements, choices made long before saying “I do” are strategic for lasting marital success.
Real estate broker Alex Edwards, author of Mortgage Before Marriage, believes these talks should be routine, just like discussing retirement plans or insurance. “A prenup is a financial tool to ensure you keep your wealth,” says Edwards, who helps individuals, especially single women, improve their financial literacy before marriage.
His perspective, shaped by years working with first-time buyers and high-earning women, offers a practical way to start these discussions in a constructive rather than confrontational manner. He focuses on the “Three Ps:” plan for the life you want decades from now, purchase income-generating properties to fund that vision and protect everything with legal structures like trusts and prenups that keep wealth secure over time.
Buying Property While Still Single
One way to build wealth before marriage is to take advantage of available down-payment assistance programs, many of which are income-based. He says that “80% of the market qualifies for these homebuying programs, and only 13% took advantage last year.”
Combined household income can disqualify couples from eligibility. “If your client gets married before taking advantage of these programs, they’ll lose the chance at $100,000,” he warns. “The client rushed for love instead of building their financial foundation first.”
Edwards strongly advocates buying a multifamily property as a first home. “If your client is using down-payment assistance from their state or the federal government [FHA loans], they only need to put down as little as 3.5%,” he says. “The client should put that toward a three- or four-family, a home that can generate rental income.” That income will help couples qualify for mortgages and other loans later on.
The same principle applies to ultra-high-net-worth clients. “Regardless of income level, real estate should be a wealth-building consideration for everyone,” he emphasizes. “It’s one of the few industries where you can borrow $1 million with only $35,000.”
Prenups as a Planning Tool
Many couples avoid talking about prenups because they may seem pessimistic or unromantic. But Edwards sees them as a form of self-protection and clarity. “A prenup is a financial love letter to yourself,” he tells clients. “Basically, you’re putting your oxygen mask on first in case the plane goes down.” He also compares a prenup to “a business plan for the marriage.”
Prenups not only protect individual assets in a divorce but also prevent the accumulation of others’ debts and lawsuits. They can clarify many scenarios, such as what happens if one partner takes on new debt, how future income or appreciation is handled, what happens under a fidelity clause if someone cheats and even what can be shared publicly through social media nondisclosure clauses.
Prenups should be signed 90 days before the wedding, so “I tell everyone to do it 100 days ahead,” Edwards advises, emphasizing the importance of having separate lawyers. “You never go to a basketball game where the coach is coaching both teams.”
He encourages clients to think beyond the prenup to how assets will be protected and transferred. “We want everything in a revocable trust,” he says. “Life insurance, real estate, the prenup—everything.”
Advisor-Led Conversations
Advisors can begin trust planning early, especially for clients building real-estate portfolios. “If a marriage has a prenup, real estate and a trust, they’re well protected,” he states.
Prenups can be introduced as part of broader discussions on risk management, estate planning and long-term financial goals. Edwards stresses transparency between partners, covering everything from savings and debts to recurring expenses, even small ones like Netflix subscriptions to avoid double-paying for the same services. As he explains, “A lot of couples are in a marriage yet are single, not knowing anything about the other’s finances.”
This honesty builds a strong foundation: couples who understand each other’s financial habits are better prepared to build wealth together. Advisors, he argues, can help foster transparency, align goals and prevent the financial secrecy that often leads to conflicts.
“The second most common reason people get divorced is over finances,” he notes. “If you can make the marriage financially transparent, you can keep the marriage together.”
