There’s no getting around the sensitivities inherent to estate planning. The very nature of the process requires one to take an introspective look at their life and the possessions they’ve accumulated over the course of it in the interest of making definitive decisions about where those assets will go, and to whom, once they’re gone. Estate planning necessitates a thorough re-examination of relationships, a careful assessment of priorities and consequential choices to be made surrounding one’s twilight years and beyond.
That is, at least in theory. All too often, people’s understandable uneasiness around these subjects means many of the necessary conversations and considerations that ought to occur during the estate planning process never take place.
While this avoidance may temporarily preserve family peace and comfort, the consequences can be disastrous once the plan in question is implemented. At best, avoiding difficult conversations is likely to lead to ambiguity and confusion among family members over the ownership and distribution of a late loved one’s assets, especially if the will or trust produced in the wake of their passing is imprecise or vaguely worded. In worst-case scenarios, a prolonged failure of communication can result in strained or outright broken relationships between relatives, costly and protracted litigation and unnecessary professional services commissioned to provide clarity in the absence of answers.
Beyond ensuring one’s wishes and desires are enacted upon death, no one should want to leave behind a legacy of conflict and dysfunction for their family to inherit. This is why it’s imperative for anyone, regardless of net worth, to actively manage their estate and ensure their loved ones have a clear, actionable plan that will aid, rather than complicate, an already delicate process.
Intentional communication is the cornerstone of effective estate planning. This is true of ongoing dialogues with trusted advisors and family members alike. These conversations should set expectations and assign responsibilities for executing the estate accordingly, thereby reducing the potential for costly surprises. While clarity and straightforwardness are key, these discussions do not necessarily have to be transparent to the point of being counterproductive. This is especially pertinent to conversations with loved ones regarding what they can expect to receive from the estate. Setting expectations ahead of time is critical and can reduce the potential for conflict later. However, there’s no need to share specific dollar amounts unless doing so clarifies any outstanding questions.
Anyone who wants to be intentional and meticulous in their estate planning should frequently consult with relevant and reliable professional advisors. This includes CPAs, financial planners, or attorneys—professionals who understand the process, anticipate potential issues, and provide objective guidance.
Involving professional advisors in the estate planning process can prove invaluable on several fronts. Critically, this includes providing a neutral third-party intermediary who can keep things on track. Among other roles, this professional can facilitate conversations with family members to ensure pertinent information is conveyed to the appropriate parties, maintain records of conversations and documented assets in the event of any disputesor simply act as an observer to foster constructive dialogue. Additionally, this person can provide a dependable ear, offering guidance on how to best frame and convey potentially upsetting information, or, if necessary, even deliver the news themselves.
Ideally, mapping out an estate plan should be an ongoing process that’s revisited several times throughout one’s life. Market shifts and regulatory adjustments can have a profound impact on one’s assets, to say nothing of the changes in life circumstances and interpersonal relationships that inevitably occur over time. While inherently complicated, devising a considerate and comprehensive estate plan does not need to be a wholly painful process, nor should the resulting plan produce more headaches for loved ones and family members than it resolves.
